Great escapes and shooting stars

A snippet from Saturday:

Girl: I'd like to taste a chardonnay.

Bartender: Oh, O.K. Let me see what we have.

Me: (Starting to smile a little inside*)

Bartender: We have white zinfandel, lambrusco and Chablis.

Girl: No chardonnay? Do you have a wine list?

Me: (Internal guffaw {great word})

Bartender: Shakes head. Crosses arms.

Girl: I'll TASTE the Chablis.

Bartender: Sure.

Me: (no longer internalizing) laughing out loud.

Bartender: Puts down a full glass in front of her.

Girl: Is that a taste?

Bartender: You can taste that. That'll be $5.50**

Me: (Crying, I'm laughing so hard)

Girl: Shakes her head, glares at me and sweeps off with her drink.

THE SETTING: The Great Escape.


Elsewhere:

So, I've seen three monstrous shooting stars in the last week. I'm always transported to my teens and long drives into the mountains, camp-outs and skywatching. So much like life, a shooting star.

Lonely, beautiful, magical and temporary.

I over-caffeinated a lot this week, supplementing my usual daily intake of 3 to 4 giant Diet Cokes with a number of double espressos at the Starbucks, which is quickly becoming a third office.

I've tried to convince the pierogie...Crap, I can't call her that anymore without feeling awkward about it...Kylie. Damn, that sucks to lose the mental nick-name (Well worth it, but still, to lose the funny mental image, sigh***) to make a cubicle for me at the store so that I can have three.

I figure NOBODY has three cubicles. With a color printer and stapler thrown in, I would be eligible to trade for an early retirement.

Because I'm feeling a bit magical tonight.

Pisces
May 1-7: From Thursday onward, you're impossibly seductive. This is not contrived or rehearsed...It's you being you. Others are drawn into your vibe and feel slightly confused by what's occurring. You often have that effect on others. It's a kind of emotional and spiritual rapture. Things get even more phenomenal during the weekend. If you've held back your feelings for someone, you'll go ahead and let loose this week.

(This feels pretty accurate. I do know I tend to confuse the hell out of people without even really trying. I'd rather just make them laugh, to be honest.)

For May 4: Very early today, you may worry about a health or security matter, but only briefly. The rest of the day blossoms into something quite wonderful and unexpected. You wish that one situation that you're very fond of would never end. Your mind is delightfully creative, eccentric and spontaneous, amusing and confusing those nearby, and transforming you into the most unforgettable person they've ever met...Wouldn't be the first time. Empowered by enthusiasm, you don't hold back and can't wait to tell others about a revelation or peak experience. No wonder people adore you...

(And I have the tanned body of a male exotic dancer! Total weight loss = 35 pounds. I'm actually back to where I used to be in my early 20's. I feel like me again for the first time in years. Um, self-esteem, thanks for dropping by, it's been a long time.)

And because you can't fortune without a cookie:

"Good news will come to you from far away,"

I'm guessing any news will have to come from far away because all I've eaten today was a banana, 2 spicy chicken burritos from Taco Bell, A Smart Choice BBQ chicken lunch portion, another banana and a day-old Arby's cheddar beef sandwich.

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*To be honest, I'm pretty much always smiling inside.

**Brief moment of silence for Angie, who's enjoying Costa Rica right now and will owe me huge drinks for the beautiful weather I promised her. (She says, "That'll be 2.30," in a very lovely and funny English accent a lot.) Three weeks to Erie, I'm feeling.

***Buddhists take a pretty long view on age, it turns out. All I know is that I've got a legal screening of Ice Age 2 coming this week that doesn't involve me being tasered**** by nervous parents.

****Ironically, I'm being officially tasered next Tuesday, just for YOUR amusement. I'll take pictures, don't worry. I'm told I might pee myself, it should be hilarious.